Dear Diary

Child 1 is soooo much more themselves since they were withdrawn from school.

The difference, while not surprising, is astounding and really highlights just how much trauma has been inflicted by the school and the importance of recognising and treating the trauma.

They are so much less withdrawn, depressed, angry. They are a lot more interactive now and they are much much much MUCH happier. I can see the sheer relief of not having to worry about being at school. It is like a shadow has been lifted off their shoulders.

How many more children have unrecognised trauma because of school?

Actually, that’s not quite right. The trauma is because of individuals who enjoy power-tripping over children: they bully children behind the protection of being a member of staff.

One of Child 2’s bullies actually said, ‘this is how children are spoken to at secondary school.’

I was stunned: they would most definitely not speak to an adult the same way.

I certainly hope that it is not the norm to order a child to stop using the toilet or to threaten a child with a call to their parents or to threaten a child with a punishment for doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing.

I hope that it is not the norm for children to be shouted at and disrespected at school.

I hope it is not the norm for children to be punished for telling their parents what has happened at school.

Schools are not inherently traumatic and can be truly wonderful places. School was an escape for me. I hated school holidays and counted down the days until we were back to school.

Have I done the wrong thing by teaching my children to have an expectation of being respected?

Lots of love from Me xxx

5 thoughts on “Wow!

  1. I am so glad your child is happier, but how awful are those examples of what happened at school? You are very definitely right. All children should be respected and all should always expect to be respected.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, John.

      It is very frustrating that that particular teacher genuinely thinks her behaviour is acceptable and the school appears to be in agreement.

      Her reasoning for ordering Child 2 out of the toilet cubicle was that she wanted “to check they were ok”- which she proceedrd to do by threatening to punish Child 2 for using the toilet during class without permission. When she was told they had permission the teacher went on to berate Child 2 for having asked to go to the toilet.

      It is so clear from that behaviour that she was concerned for my Child’s wellbeing. I did point out that she could have just asked Child 2 if they’re OK.

      I also know that Child 2 was crying in the toilet and that would have been apparent on her face: red eyes, etc. So this teacher ignored the visual cues of distress in favour of cementing her power over Child 2.

      Why is it so difficult for so many people to respect children?

      Is it because they were not treated respectfully when they were children?

      There is also a greater safeguarding issue: how can we expect our children to report dangerous behaviour if they’re petrified of being in trouble/punished? That is exactly how predators wield their power and keep their victims silent.


  2. I am so grateful to hear about how child 1 is doing. My heart is breaking though for child 2. They don’t deserve any of that, no child does. Is it at all possible to pull them as well or do they have to stay enrolled? Oh how I wish I could be there to help you and child 2. That teacher, and all those supporting her horrific, power tripping behavior need to be knocked down a few levels.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you.

      We’ve discussed them leaving the school but their friends are there and they just want to be able to attend without being bullied.

      Of course none of that behaviour helped the pre-existing anxiety which is why things are so difficult for them now.

      Liked by 1 person

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