Too many things

Audio version

Dear Diary

When I was a child we moved home so many times and almost all of our childhood things disappeared. It left me feeling untethered and adrift.

I promised myself that I would give my children more stability.

I failed.

Well, we managed to stay put in one home for 7 years but even then the ordered household we started with began to slip as my health issues took hold. Now my home is almost unrecognisable because of the clutter and disorganisation.

When you need help to do the most basic of tasks, e.g. bathing and toileting, things like keeping up the kids scrapbooks and keepsake boxes fall by the wayside.

A lot more has fallen by the wayside.

That home had some very difficult memories and we thought a move to somewhere new where we planned to stay forever would be good for all of us.

Life just doesn’t work out so smoothly…. oh, it worked well at first but then my Very Patient Husband’s job changed very unexpectedly.

We have since had multiple moves and the multiple carers as well as the upheavals of all the moves inflicted their own trauma on Child 1 and Child 2…

We haven’t been able to buy again and our deposit is dwindling fast when we have to pay so much for my care.

I know we were lucky to have been able to buy in the first place. That was when my health was ok and we didn’t we need a Wheelchair Accessible family home. They are very hard to find- like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

There are too many things to worry about: Child 1 and Child 2 are top of my list. Then we have our home, basic things like cleaning, cooking, laundry, gardening, bathing, eating. Then we have trying to find an Affordable Wheelchair Accessible home.

And I haven’t forgotten about my Very Patient Husband, but I don’t think I’m ready to talk about that yet.

Lots of love from Me xxx

2 thoughts on “Too many things

  1. I hope you are able to find an accessible home for your family soon. After years of struggle, my family was finally blessed with the ability to buy one and it has helped tremendously. As for the state of the home being uncluttered and disorganized, I struggle with that too. Also with trying to keep up or even work on special mementos and memory keepers for my children. I hope you hold on to courage and can find some hope and peace amidst the chaos that comes with a disability later in life. I am grateful that you have a patient and supportive husband that can help shoulder everything with you.

    Like

    1. I think people underestimate how much an accessible home can make a difference.

      It is like living in tent where you’re having to ‘make do’ then being given a home you can fully use.

      I am hoping that my blog will enable more people to understand the daily struggles we go through, not all of which are physical.

      Liked by 1 person

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