Dear Diary
Someone on my Twitter feed asked what we are proud of achieving that day.
I thought of all the things I have on my To-Do List that have not been done, I thought of Child 1 and Child 2 basically having no Mumma because I have been so out of it and I was flooded with even more guilt and shame.
Guilt and Shame have been my bed-partners for a long time.
But the Tweet went on to talk about valuing ALL our achievements.
I wrote that I was able to get myself to the bathroom. I was so nervous. I kept thinking about what other people would think-about how simple a thing it is.
Until you are struggling with something you truly cannot imagine how much it hurts to have to be dependent on others for basic functions.
I hope you never have to find out.
Lots of love from Me xxx
…
Just the Mumma 
I am very excited for you to see that you were able to get to the bathroom independently. I have known what it feels like to struggle with things like that so I know how big of an accomplishment that really is. I am also proud of you for being able to recognize your accomplishment in the middle of all the feelings of guilt and shame for other areas (I sadly know that reality too) and for being brave enough to share it publicly. I hope no one was cruel to you for it.
LikeLike
Thankfully there was no one on the thread who didn’t understand.
LikeLiked by 1 person